Here With Me
by VampWillow730
Summary: A song-fic that takes place after The Prom, all about Buffy's pain.


Title: Here With Me  
Author: Emily  
Summary: A song-fic that takes place after The Prom, all about Buffy's pain.  
Spoilers: The Prom, Season 3 in general and the whole B/A cannon.  
Rating: PG-13, I guess, no lanuage or sexuality, whatever.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The beginning is owned by Joss, and so are the characters. The song is by Michelle Branch, and it is called 'Here with Me,' therefore I do not own the title either.  
Feedback: Much loved, I need it!  
  
Part 1/1  
  
"Every now and then..." Giles trails off. He takes the umbrella from my hands, and I turn to see. It's Angel. He stands, inches from me, and I can smell his colonge.   
  
"I never thought you'd come." I hear myself say.  
  
"It's a big night." He replies. "I didn't want to miss it. It's just tonight. It doesn't mean that I..."  
  
"I know. I mean, I understand." I say, trying to play it cool. But I know I can't go on much longer without breaking into tears. I'm trying to be strong, but inside I'm not. Maybe I can run really fast, fight evil demons, but sometimes, I just want to be a girl. I want to break down and cry. But, what would everybody think about me if I start to cry?  
  
"Dance with me?" He asks.  
  
I take his outstretched hand and we dance. It's warm, though he gives off no body heat of his own. I feel safe and secure, like nothing could ever go wrong again. He's pressed up against me, and it feels good. I love this feeling.  
  
The song ends and I'm the first to break away.  
  
"I have to go." He says.  
  
"No! You just got here." I reply angrily.  
  
"I-I can't stay." he confesses.  
  
"Why?" I ask childishly.  
  
"Because if I stay here any longer I'm not sure if I'll be able to control the urge to rip that dress off and make love to you." He says angrily, then turns and walks away.  
  
I stare after him. He's leaving. He can't take it. He has to have me. And I have to have him. I've been hiding it for myself. I need him. I crave him, 24 hours of the day. I want him.  
  
Hurridly I grab my bag and run after him. I know as soon as I reach the dark, night sky, that he's gone.   
  
// It's been a long, long time since I looked into the mirror  
I guess that I was blind  
Now my reflection's getting clearer  
Now that you're gone things will never be the same again //  
  
I walk slowly home, letting my dress drag on the ground. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. He left me. He's leaving me. I let the tears fall, they come out in huge gasps.  
  
// There's not a minute that goes by every hour of every day  
You're such a part of me  
But I just pulled away  
Well, I'm not the same girl you used to know  
I wish I said the words I never showed //  
  
The door is open, and my mom's just inside, reading a book by lamplight.  
  
"Honey? Is that you?" She asks, getting up from her spot on the couch.  
  
"It's me." I make out between sobs.   
  
"What's wrong?" She asks sweetly.  
  
"He's leaving." I sob.  
  
"Who's leaving?"  
  
"Angel!" I blurt out.  
  
"Oh honey." She says, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and hugging tightly.  
  
"I just want to be alone." I say, running past her and up the stairs.  
  
// I know you had to go away  
I died just a little, and I feel it now  
You're the one I need  
I believe that I would cry just a little  
Just to have you back now //  
  
I flop down onto my bed and cry. The tears are hot and they burn. Why? Why couldn't he listen to me for a chance? Why couldn't things be different? Why?  
  
// Here with me  
Here with me //  
  
The tears suddenly stop coming. I get up and dry my eyes with the back of my hand. I look into the mirror and I look horrible. I walk slowly down stairs and head straight to the kitchen. I reach into the freezer. I take a spoon and my pint of Fudge Mint Chip and head back to my room. Drowning my sorrows yet again with ice cream.  
  
// You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart  
And I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true  
But I was scared and left it all behind //  
  
Nothing matters anymore. So what if a giant snake-monster eats all of Sunnydale. Then I wouldn't have to face my life after that.  
  
// I know you had to go away  
I died just a little, and I feel it now  
You're the one I need  
I believe that I would cry just a little  
Just to have you back now //  
  
I eat a few bites of the ice cream, but it doesn't make me feel better. I reach over to my nightstand and grab my phone. I dial the familliar numbers and clutch the phone to my ear. After two rings, *he* picks up.  
  
"Hello?" He says innocently, like he hasn't just broken my heart.  
  
I say nothing; just sit there clutching the phone as I listen to his sweet voice.  
  
"Hello? Is there anybody there?" He asks again.  
  
Finally I hear the dail tone, and I know he's hung up.  
  
// Here with me  
Here with me And I'm asking  
And I'm wanting you to come back to me  
Please? //  
  
I hang up and rock myself. I've finally broken down. I've lost all hope of getting him back. He doesn't love me, though I'm still passionatly in love with him.  
  
// I never will forget that look upon your face  
How you turned away and left without a trace  
But I understand that you did what you had to do  
And I thank you //  
  
If I could just feel the touch of his skin against mine, or the taste of his lips devouring mine, then I would be satisfied.  
  
// I know you had to go away  
I died just a little, and I feel it now  
You're the one I need  
I believe that I would cry just a little  
Just to have you back now //  
  
If only he could be normal. If I were normal. Then maybe we could work things out.  
  
// Here with me  
Here with me //  
  
If only he were here with me... 


End file.
